20 Hilarious Rules Implemented By Pets That Their Parents Must Follow Or Else

pet rules
ismedhasibuan / depositphotos

Everyone knows that if you have a pet, your life is no longer your own. We love them but they can be super demanding and pushy and each one literally has their own personality and behaviors. Everything we do, especially at home, is affected by our little furry (or feathered) friends. Reddit user dlordjr posted this question:

What ‘rule’ has your pet instituted in your house that you now follow? from r/AskReddit

…and the responses from users show us that pets really do run the show.

1. Thumbs up pup.

“When I sneeze, my puppy stares at me until I give him a literal thumbs up so he knows I’m good. Also, when he thinks someone is lurking by the door he’ll bark and run to it, and I must check outside, and give him a thumbs up and tell him we’re good.

atribe-called-jay

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2. Granola lovin’ beagle

“Whenever I open a box of granola, our beagle comes flying from wherever she is and spins in a circle until I give her a chunk. If I don’t do this I get the stink-eye.”

WestByGodder

3. Tantrum throwin’ parrot

“If my parrot asks “what are you doing?” Anyone in the immediate vicinity must respond with what they’re doing. He will throw a tantrum [if] he doesn’t get an answer.”

_texas_redd_

via GIPHY

4. ‘Bless You’ Cat.

“If I sneeze my cat will meow softly and walk over to me and pat me on my face until I pick him up and tell him don’t worry it was only a sneeze.”

VelocityRAPTOR33

5. No whisper “wooo” dog.

“No whispering…ever. My pyr/berner mix will make a growling “woooo” sound from the other room if you whisper to someone else, or to yourself. If you continue to whisper.. he will come out to admonish you in person. No secrets in my house.”

Xerowz

6. Rooster Cat.

“One of our cats likes to be the one to wake my stepdaughter up for school every morning. We have a routine, I get up and go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and hair and then go let Kiki into my SD room. She runs to her bed and lays down on top of her, nuzzles around her face and nibbles on her eyebrows to wake her up. We have to do this every morning.”

TrendyKiddy

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7. Shut TF up Dog

“My BF and I have pretty much shut the f*ck up after 9pm or else my dog (who is trying to sleep) will groan really loud. We could be mid conversation or laughing and she will do it really loud.”

ohjeegolly

8. Booty Smack Doggie

“If my dog stands in front of you looks back and puts her butt near you you must smack the booty.”

texxmix

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9. Goodnight Beagle

“My beagle must go to bed by 10:30 and will stand at the stairs trying to tell us she’s tired. If we don’t listen, she goes to a room and lays on a bed and goes to sleep.

Edit: Also, my beagle understands about 80% of what I say. When it’s time to go to bed, she waits until after I lay down, she stays off the bed and won’t get on until she has permission. I literally have to say “you can lay down now”. I didn’t teach her this stuff. She just does it naturally.”

wyatteffnearp

10. Pay the Toll Doxie

“We call it “paying the toll”. Our doxie will instantly steal your spot if you get up to go to the bathroom or something, and she won’t move until you’ve sufficiently rubbed the belly. So to get your seat back you have to pay the toll!”

wishing thebathwater

11. Lights Out Seagull

“I must not put the light on in the middle of the night if I get up to use the toilet, the seagull sleeps in a basket, and gets annoyed if the light wakes him up, and he’ll then sqwark loudly until the light goes off thus risking waking the neighbors.”

BECKYISHERE

(wait…she owns seagull?)

12. Drive me. Chase me. Cheese me.

“If he doesn’t get a drive in the car everyday – that’s right a drive, not a walk – he sulks. If he knows he is definitely going for a drive he runs up and down like crazy and body slams you with all of his 55kg. It hurts but his excitement is also so unbelievably cute that you can’t stop him. If he gives you the ‘sparkly eyes’ you must chase him. If there is cheese in the fridge and you open the fridge door he magically appears and you must give him some. I’m not quite sure how I manage to have time to do anything else apart from following his rules but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

FabulousPainting

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13. Boyfriend Breath Kitty

“I have to sleep with my back to my BF so the cat can snuggle into my hair while smelling my BF’s breath.”

colesnap

14. Belly Cat

“You may look at the belly. You may even pet the belly. But you must not…ever…mention the belly. The second you speak out loud that you are viewing or interacting with the belly in any way, the belly disappears and is just replaced by a very pissed-off cat. I think it’s possible that he’s insecure about his weight and/or just hates the word “belly” (tummy is okay though).”

kyothinks

via GIPHY

15. 4 PM Poodle

“My poodle requires the blinds of our living room window to be open by around 4 pm or else he’ll start pacing and whining anxiously. He sits at the window and watches the driveway for my dad to get home from work. These two are inseparable.”

krispyfriedyuca

16. Tuck Me, Doggie

“My dog refuses to go to sleep until my mum has tucked him in with his blanket and toys and told him goodnight. He will throw a tantrum and bark for hours on end if he isn’t tucked in by 8:30 so now the official family bedtime is at sunset just to keep the dog happy, lol.”

abriefinterview

17. Carrot lovin’ piggies

“You absolutely must give both our guinea pigs a carrot by 7 am or they sit together and squeek and be super loud until their demands are met.”

joey1886

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18. Yogurt, get in my belly.

“All yogurt containers must be inspected and cleaned before entering the disposal system. I will get the worst looks of abandonment, and guilt if I don’t hand them over.”

gnapster

19. Prissy Pit

“My pit will whine until we spread out a blanket on the sofa for her. She refuses to lounge directly on the leather. And I do it everytime.”

dogmom5

20. Dentist Coopie

“When my cat Cooper puts his face directly in your face, he wants you to open your mouth so he can sniff it. My husband and I do this automatically now. We call him Dentist Coopie.”

jentr0py

Note: Some responses have been edited for length.

h/t BuzzFeed