Kids definitely have minds of their own. Mostly untainted by the world around them, children use their imaginations to make connections with their limited vocabulary to name things. Often times this method produces the most adorable names and phrases.
We decided to scroll Twitter to find the best things that kids have renamed, from eating utensils to the names of famous cartoon shows. Kids have almost perfect names for everything, and this list proves it.
My daughter calls kiwis “brown berries” and I now know my job is to hide the real name to my dying day.— ˗ˏˋгoɢιε ˎˊ (@rogie) May 25, 2018
My daughter just called me a “broken potato”?and I don’t know what that means but I can’t wait for her to feel better so we can square up— I do not look like Trippie Redd (@AllHailLAs) April 2, 2019
My daughter calls corn on the cob holders “corn chargers” and I think we should just let 2 year olds name everything from now on.— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 27, 2018
My daughter calls mail ‘email’ and the mailman ‘the email man’. She picks up the mail, says “look at all these emails!” then goes to the printer. She comes back to me 2 minutes later, upset because she “can’t send the emails.”— 💫Ethereal Kia🧚🏽♀️ (@etherealKia) March 19, 2019
Parenting in 2019.
More updates from my 2-year-old— ⛄️Anthony🎶Holden⛄️ (@nthonyholden) September 18, 2018
she calls pre-school “play dough school”
my day is over
My son calls chameleons “lizard wizards” I’m done— Web DM Emma (@suzieking85) March 25, 2019
My daughter calls deodorant “armpit makeup”. You’re welcome.— Stephen Amell (@StephenAmell) May 29, 2018
My 1 year old son can’t pronounce “Mommy” so he calls me “Money”… I don’t know whether to love it or be nervous about my role in his life. 🤔— Sam Ponder (@sam_ponder) March 28, 2019
My 5yo calls the school library “the librarium” and I will straight up murder whoever eventually corrects him.— Kiersten White News (@kierstenwhite) September 19, 2018
I think my daughter calls chess “horsey no horsey”. This is a far superior name. Please all do this from now on.— Richard K Herring (@Herring1967) September 14, 2018
My 4 year old calls the swatter the ‘wasp spanker’.— KirstyB (@KirstyFB) May 30, 2018
My 3-year-old has started playing “guns”, which normally I wouldn’t be okay with, but he calls it “shooting gums” so I’m letting it slide.— joey alison sayers (@joeyalison) August 16, 2018
4-year-old: This is good oakmeal.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 1, 2019
Now with extra bark.
The idea of a phone call is so foreign to my 5-year-old that he calls a phone number “a password”— Jason Del Rey (@DelRey) November 15, 2018
My 5yo calls his uniform his ‘school costume’ and I’m not going to tell him otherwise because it’s cute but also somewhat logical.— Jo (@phdwahine) June 6, 2018
My daughter calls it deja dude instead of deja vu and if anyone corrects her I’ll kick them in the shins.— Not¤Jamie (@JamieLeeCuntis) September 11, 2018
Me: I need milk for my cereal— Patricia Kalimah (@kalimahsmiles) April 3, 2019
My Daughter: who calls it milk?
It’s CEREAL SAUCE!
My 4 year old niece calls farts “booty burps.” I think she might be on to something.— Kyle (@kyleholton) March 13, 2019
My daughter calls The Flintstones “The Vitamin Show”— Will Truman (@trumwill) August 12, 2018
My daughter calls scribbling “scribble-scrabbling” and it is my favorite.— Rachel Hunt Steenblik (@rachelsteenblik) June 14, 2018
my 3 year old daughter calls gophers goofers so the world isn’t all bad— collin duddy (@LoboExplosivo) September 27, 2018
My 4 year old calls glitter “Christmas dirt” lmao— beef quencher (@kranzman) December 22, 2017
My 2 year-old calls my coffee “Datsit!”— Grey DeLisle-Griffin (@GreyDeLisle) December 2, 2018
I didn’t know why until she took her morning sip today and I said “Ok. That’s it!”
My 3 year old calls cactuses “practices” & I’m debating emptying my 401K to jumpstart the financing of a complex Truman Show like framework that never allows him to learn the correct way to say it.— Lucy Ruth Cummins (@lucyruth) October 9, 2018
My daughter calls the Arkansas Razorback logo “Scary Peppa”— Billy Gomila (@ATVS_ChefBilly) January 6, 2018
AREN’T KIDS THE MOST BLESSED THING ON THIS EARTH— Chachi Bobinks, Hugo Award Nominee (@ChachiBobinks) August 8, 2018
My 6 year old doesn’t wanna call stuff a spoon or fork. She wants to call the utensils. But she’s 6 so she calls them “ninsels.” As in “I need the correct ninsels, Mama.” Because she’s proper AF.
My 5 year old cousin has a girlfriend called Beth but he doesn’t like girls so he calls her Jeff. Problem solver xx— Beth 🧸 (@bethgolding123) July 5, 2018
My 3-year old calls a spork a “spoon-hurt”. #ShesRightTheyAreSharpSpoons— Christopher Sabat (@VoiceOfVegeta) January 23, 2018
My 5yo calls parmesan cheese “Pizza sugar.”— There is no Dad, only Zuul. (@snotnboogers23) September 30, 2018
And I’ll cut anyone that tells her otherwise.
My 2yo calls Veggie Tales “Veggie Chips” and it’s really adorable.— Gabrielle Rystedt (@gabbithegreat) April 2, 2019
My 5YO calls churches with steeples, “Jesus castles.”— Jennifer Michelle Greenberg (@JennMGreenberg) February 3, 2018
I love this!
My daughter calls peanut butter “butter butter” and I actually just can’t.— Kelbamom (@Kelbawhom) July 10, 2018
My 4 year old thinks that nipples are called “booby-buttons”— Jess (@jessvioletxo) April 2, 2019
That is all.
My daughter calls reading “talking to books,” and it’s pretty much my favourite thing. “Don’t stop talking to the book, Mama!”— Mandy (@BooksYarnLogic) February 9, 2018
My 2 year old nephew is obsessed with my fancy Japanese toilet and he calls it “hello potty” which is not what it’s technically called but I feel like it should be. 🚽— Busy Philipps (@BusyPhilipps) July 28, 2018
my daughter calls my fake lashes “Eye weaves”— mommiana 🌸 (@chinky_lilthang) October 18, 2018
My 7yo calls the scanner at the airport gate the “beedoop” machine and now I can never think of it as anything else, so thanks @chrissyteigen.— Celeste Ng (@pronounced_ing) April 23, 2018
My 5yo calls open face sandwiches “happy face sandwiches” and is that not the cutest thing. 🙂 🥪— 🥕Haley Stewart🥕 (@HaleyCarrots) September 30, 2018
My daughter doesn’t know the word “braces” so she calls them “tiny jails for your teeth.”— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 12, 2018
My 4 year old sister calls her lip gloss a lip glock 😭😂😂😂😂— Jo Sleiman (@JSleiman21) April 25, 2018
My 5-year-old calls question marks “I-don’t-know points” and I’m sorry, y’all, but this is what they are called now— Brooke Foster (@lonesometoast) November 1, 2018
My 2 year old son has started to call meringues ‘meringue-utans’ and I now think he may be the future of comedy 😂— David Litchfield (@dc_litchfield) February 24, 2019
My 1 year old cousin calls Rihanna umbrella dhahtha….— Nafa (@NafaSaleem) July 13, 2018
My daughter refers to vacation as “holiday” and my son calls cookies “biscuits.” Between Steve & Maggie and Peppa Pig they’re slowly turning British.— 🇺🇸Josh Keaton🇵🇪 (@joshkeaton) May 10, 2018
My 4 year old sister calls Jeeps “Dinosaur Trucks” 😂😂— 𝓓𝓪𝓷𝓲 (@Dorkie_dani) March 29, 2019
One thing I learned tonight is that my daughter calls gnocchi Pinocchio.— Rachel Hunt Steenblik (@rachelsteenblik) July 18, 2018
My daughter calls rewind “fast backward” (opposite of fast forward) and now so will I.— samdavidson (@samdavidson) November 2, 2018
My 4 year old calls the Canadian flag “the hockey flag” 🇨🇦— x-rae (@rwcaps) May 12, 2018
My daughter calls the family tablet a “TapTop” why is this not the official name for tablets?— 1/4BlackGarrett (@QTRBlackGarrett) October 27, 2018
In case you needed cheering today, please know that my 5yo calls question marks “mystery marks”.— Foz Meadows (@fozmeadows) October 2, 2018
My cousin’s daughter can’t pronounce “Julia” so she calls me “that people” which is very progressive and gender-neutral— Julia Claire (@ohJuliatweets) July 15, 2018
My 3 year old used to call her belly button her “belly buddy” and I can cry just thinking about how she thought her belly button was a good friend. That’s where I’m at, folks.— Donovan Woods (@DonovanWoods) May 16, 2018