Being a Mom is both remarkably satisfying and extremely stressful. Here we have some of the most hilarious parenting tweets from Moms that are relatable AF.
Being a mom means kids banging on the bathroom door like swat asking for a drink while you’re in the shower and dad is in the kitchen .— K o r e e n a ♡; (@Koreena_Darling) January 20, 2018
my son asked me to make “something culinary for dinner…like, not from a box” and we’re now 5000% done with Food Network in this house— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 13, 2019
I can raise kids just fine, but keeping plants alive that only need to be watered once a month is apparently out of my reach.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 9, 2019
What I said: It’s important for everyone to get a good night’s sleep tonight, so get on upstairs now.— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) March 13, 2019
What I meant: Mama’s got a sleeve of cookies and full DVR calling her name, so get out of my hair immediately.
I’m tired of hearing new moms always say their baby is “such a good baby.” Just once, I wanna hear a mom be like, “Yeah, no, my baby’s a real dick.”— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 11, 2019
A children’s birthday party game: guess which guests are contagious.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) February 21, 2019
*looks at 4 children*— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 20, 2019
“You leave me no choice.”
*eats last 3 cookies*
Angry about losing video privileges, my 7yo texted me from his tablet that he is “having a bad life with me.” In case you’re wondering how parenting is going.— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) February 20, 2019
Me: do you want a croissant or a muffin?— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) March 13, 2019
Me: *orders croissant and gives it to her*
2.5: noooo a muffin
Me: but you said croissant
Me: FINE *orders muffin and gives it to her*
2.5: *puts muffin aside and eats croissant*
3yo: Do you want to play princesses with me?— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 14, 2019
Me: Of course!
3yo: Ok, I’ll be Ariel. Who do you want to be?
Me: Sleeping Beauty.
3yo: How come you always pick her?
Me: *already asleep on the couch*
What a parent’s bucket list looks like:— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 9, 2019
3. Drink hot coffee
2. Shower without kids banging on the door
1. Pee alone
Kid: “We’re supposed to get snow tomorrow, & my teacher said school will probably be cancelled! Isn’t that cool?!”— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) February 12, 2019
List of things my kids are willing to eat: ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ — Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 3, 2019
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing parents that if their kids were super active during the day they would get really tired and go to bed earlier than normal.— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) February 17, 2019
I need a break from parenting. A nap. A hot bath. Unshared food… I should’ve been the father!!!! 🙄😉😂— Pleasant Sol 💫🥀🌚 (@toya43558415) December 30, 2018
I want my kids to know they can always talk to me about anything going on in their lives.— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) February 22, 2019
Friday Morning Game of:OK, Who Peed on the Carpet? *Spoiler: There are no winners. — Mummy 🤦🏼♀️ (@ThatMummyLife) November 9, 2018
In case you’re wondering if kids do mimic parents, my kid picked up her toy laptop, said she was looking for bathing suits, and after a few minutes closed it and said she couldn’t find anything she liked.— Steph Garcia (@mostephlove) February 18, 2019
I just want my kids to have a childhood where they play and explore and experience the world around them somewhere on the other side of the house while I take a nap.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 21, 2019
Starbucks, give me strength.– a Mother’s Prayer — The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) November 26, 2018
Prepare for parenthood by memorizing that scene in “The Devil Wears Prada” where Miranda asks Andy to go fetch her a T-Bone steak, & after Andy jumps through hoops to get it for her, Miranda sneers & says “What’s that? I don’t want that” while looking at her like she’s an idiot.— ☕️MacgyveringMom22🍷 (@MacgyveringM22) February 18, 2019
I just asked my 8yo to quit yelling and he said, “I’m NOT yelling. This is my voice and all my life I’ve been whispering. Now I’m free!”— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) December 21, 2013
“If you see a mom carrying a baby and pushing an empty stroller you’re having a better day than she is.” Truth.— jamie (@jamimalo) December 11, 2018
Me: Put your shirt on, please.Daughter: Where is it? Me: Right there. Daughter: I can’t find it! Me: I’m pointing at it! Daughter: I CAN’T FIND IT, I’VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE! Me: MY FINGER IS TOUCHING IT!!! Daughter: IT’S JUST GONE!!!! — Momarazzi. (@Mirimade) November 4, 2018
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.— Mickey (@Hypercraxy) September 24, 2015
We were in church and I pulled my toddler’s hand out of his pants and he screamed “I WAS MAKING MY PENIS BIG” and now I need a new church.— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) December 15, 2017
I love the meaningful conversations I have with my son.“YOU BETTER DIE IN YOUR FORTNITE GAME BECAUSE DINNER IS READY IN 5 MINUTES!” — Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) April 15, 2018
I don’t care how cute your kid is. When you wake up in the middle of the night and see them standing next to your bed, they are terrifying.— Wendy S. (@maughammom) August 1, 2016
It’s the freakin’ weekend baby, I’m about to do 15 loads of laundry.— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) October 19, 2018