Being a Mom is both remarkably satisfying and extremely stressful. Here we have some of the most hilarious parenting tweets from Moms that are relatable AF.
Being a mom means kids banging on the bathroom door like swat asking for a drink while you’re in the shower and dad is in the kitchen .— K o r e e n a ♡; (@Koreena_Darling) January 20, 2018
Peppa pig got my daughter thinking she British or something she tb “ ma i want a cookae “ 😂😂😭😭😭😭— Pre K ❄️ (@stayfrea_) April 27, 2019
my 2 year old be crying all the time as if it’s my responsibility to care for him.. .im focusing on myself right now … i don’t owe you anything with your toxic attitude… don’t expect me to feed you if you can’t even match my energy …— farha (@shutyourhell) October 26, 2018
my son asked me to make “something culinary for dinner…like, not from a box” and we’re now 5000% done with Food Network in this house— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 13, 2019
I can raise kids just fine, but keeping plants alive that only need to be watered once a month is apparently out of my reach.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 9, 2019
What I said: It’s important for everyone to get a good night’s sleep tonight, so get on upstairs now.— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) March 13, 2019
What I meant: Mama’s got a sleeve of cookies and full DVR calling her name, so get out of my hair immediately.
Toddler: [Eating an orange]— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) March 12, 2019
Me: Can I have some?
Toddler: No! Is spicy!
She’s on to me.
7y.o: “We’re having cake for dessert?!”— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 9, 2019
7: “Do you know the only time I’m not thinking about cake? It’s when I’m EATING cake.”
*looks at 4 children*— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 20, 2019
“You leave me no choice.”
*eats last 3 cookies*
Angry about losing video privileges, my 7yo texted me from his tablet that he is “having a bad life with me.” In case you’re wondering how parenting is going.— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) February 20, 2019
Me: do you want a croissant or a muffin?— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) March 13, 2019
Me: *orders croissant and gives it to her*
2.5: noooo a muffin
Me: but you said croissant
Me: FINE *orders muffin and gives it to her*
2.5: *puts muffin aside and eats croissant*
3yo: Do you want to play princesses with me?— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 14, 2019
Me: Of course!
3yo: Ok, I’ll be Ariel. Who do you want to be?
Me: Sleeping Beauty.
3yo: How come you always pick her?
Me: *already asleep on the couch*
What a parent’s bucket list looks like:— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 9, 2019
3. Drink hot coffee
2. Shower without kids banging on the door
1. Pee alone
Kid: “We’re supposed to get snow tomorrow, & my teacher said school will probably be cancelled! Isn’t that cool?!”— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) February 12, 2019
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing parents that if their kids were super active during the day they would get really tired and go to bed earlier than normal.— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) February 17, 2019
I need a break from parenting. A nap. A hot bath. Unshared food… I should’ve been the father!!!! 🙄😉😂— Pleasant Sol 💫🥀🌚 (@toya43558415) December 30, 2018
I want my kids to know they can always talk to me about anything going on in their lives.— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) February 22, 2019
When making meals for toddlers, I find it best to throw whatever you make directly in the trash and give them a piece of cheese— MF FairyPrincessSmoo (@Smooheed) July 15, 2014
In case you’re wondering if kids do mimic parents, my kid picked up her toy laptop, said she was looking for bathing suits, and after a few minutes closed it and said she couldn’t find anything she liked.— Steph Garcia (@mostephlove) February 18, 2019
I just want my kids to have a childhood where they play and explore and experience the world around them somewhere on the other side of the house while I take a nap.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 21, 2019
Starbucks, give me strength.– a Mother’s Prayer — The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) November 26, 2018
Prepare for parenthood by memorizing that scene in “The Devil Wears Prada” where Miranda asks Andy to go fetch her a T-Bone steak, & after Andy jumps through hoops to get it for her, Miranda sneers & says “What’s that? I don’t want that” while looking at her like she’s an idiot.— ☕️MacgyveringMom22🍷 (@MacgyveringM22) February 18, 2019
I just asked my 8yo to quit yelling and he said, “I’m NOT yelling. This is my voice and all my life I’ve been whispering. Now I’m free!”— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) December 21, 2013
“If you see a mom carrying a baby and pushing an empty stroller you’re having a better day than she is.” Truth.— jamie (@jamimalo) December 11, 2018
Excuse me, I have children to disappoint.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 19, 2019
*starts cooking dinner*
A totally logical thing about parenting is when you find yourself consoling a child who is hysterically crying because they spilled their drink all over your furniture.— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 18, 2019
Good morning to everyone except the two of my kids that had a 6:40am screaming match about what our cat’s middle name probably is.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 17, 2019
[Calling doctor’s office]— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) March 20, 2019
Lady: When is your child’s birthday?
Me: *panic* click
My kids have been in bed for 30 minutes, and I have been scrolling social media and half-assedly watching Peppa Pig for 30 minutes without noticing. In case you were wondering what Mom Brain really does to you.— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) March 19, 2019
You can’t scare me. I have a daughter. There’s glitter on literally everything I own.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 15, 2019